In the story of life that seems to carry on without "me" doing much of anything, occasionally, there are revelations. They are just as important or unimportant as anything else that appears, but they are considerably more interesting than a lot of it. A thought that comes up frequently is: everything is a gift. The memories of past events are just energy, being memory; but the thoughts seem to tie themselves together into a conclusion once in awhile, accompanied by a strong feeling of gratitude. Gratitude to no one, just gratitude. My character is privileged to have had so much suffering, so many errors on the scale of my own moral compass, and so much destructive behaviour. It makes my story one of redemption, deliverance and rebirth, one that is palpably distinct, and not subtly hidden in the small, daily reflections of universal movement. Like an anvil on the head, my salvation was necessary; the apparent choice before me was death, or life. It is a difficult and challenging role, but as there is balance, the rewards are as satisfying as the hell was punishing. This is massive, and would be enough for anyone, in separation. But there is freedom even from the shackles of redemption; there is liberation from the prison of any story, no matter how refreshing to the spirit the story is. The freedom contained within the plot of my life is savoured, and the freedom from taking the story as being "me" is more intensely relished, by no one; relishing arises. Fulfillment, even borne of the most obvious chain of events, need not be claimed by anyone. Fulfillment is everything, everywhere. It is this.
At Peace With Ego
3 months ago
6 comments:
I, for One, am glad that you stuck around. :)
Gratitude (even for the "bad" things) is such a key theme (as far as High-Level Wellness is concerned).
In "Good Will Hunting," Robin Williams says this to Matt Damon:
"You'll have bad times, Will, but they'll just wake you up to the good times that you weren't paying attention to."
I... Am Grateful for YOU. Love, Lenny
Gratitude just comes. If I had to eke it out by force of will, still wrapped up in the story, I'm sure I'd make a "gratitude list" and look at it with dismay, feeling terrible that I was incapable of feeling grateful for those things. Being no one is easy!
Just found your blog recently and have been going through the same type of deal.
Thank you so much for the honest words. I can relate to feeling, or the character I should say, can relate to feeling, (must be restated for the Advaita Police) that even though THIS is truly the claimed peace that surpasses understanding, you can still feel like a freak in the relative world about it. Its just good to hear the voice of a "real person" going through the recognition of not being a real person and still concerned a bit about being weird.
And wow, its alright that I can still be insecure about misunderstandings in email conversations and social crap also. I can still apparently suffer and don't have to turn wine into water and heal the sick. I can even get pissed off and opinionated from time to time and make mistakes. Thank you. It means a lot at this point. Trying to settle this all in. Keep up the good work if your so inclined.
Hello Michigan, not only are our stories in synch about the incongruencies that arise, but I'm a Hoosier originally and feel close to Michiganders, or are you far north enough to be a Yooper? The story is the story no matter how navel-gazingly it is about looking at the story. Absolutely everything that happens is "all right", including feeling a bit of a fraud or getting pissed off or having a little bit of fear-driven ego stuff come up. The Advaita Classic apparent individuals will tell you that "you" can't see this until "you've" completely banished the ego or small self or no longer have samsara concerns or whatever, but they're just a little (irritating) bit of the story as well. What seems to happen is all those niggling things about not wanting to appear too weird or whatever get a bit less; they slip away as there is precious little for those things to stick to. Yet even that is the story. This is this. Whatever slightly incongruent things seem to be occurring. Whatever appears is what appears. Perfect, no matter what.
Had to change my name there, somehow the password stopped working, showing my lack of experience in the blogging-commentary field.
Nope, not a yooper, down in metropolitan Detroit, right in the heart of Midwest Big Ten Country similar to Indiana. That's perfect about Advaita classic and nothing is wrong with that story, it has just monopolized the "airwaves" a bit much so its nice to hear others get a turn at the mic. As you said, busting your butt being holy and doing yoga is no different then seeking the truth in any other way, so the holy seeker and the passed out drunk are one and the same and both entitled to this, its all a stories anyway. Similar to what I believe you said in an earlier blog post, I would also say it is a bit hard to have no earthly concerns getting the kids out in the morning over here also, and I defy anyone, even the Buddha himself to have no samsara concerns when my son refuses to listen to a word I say.
Amen! But it's funny how it all seems to pan out. However apparently willful the kids are - that is their job after all - and however much they seem to not only be separate, but determined to be the most separate, unique individuals ever known, and I occasionally lose my rag with them, it truly is the case that the rag is lost, I'm not losing it. The story is just the story. The incongruencies are oneness, being incongruous.
Post a Comment