Thursday, 12 February 2009

You Can't Become What You Already Are.

I apparently hang out with a lot of people who are terribly interested in becoming something other than what they already are. What they are is usually judged to be either lacking, or too much. They seem to think they lack humility, and have too much ego. Selfishness is denigrated and selflessness held in esteem. Personality traits are studied. Feelings, and the apparent reasons for them, are scrutinised. Great unwieldy rucksacks of guilt are noticed, and many steps are taken to alleviate that guilt, and to make sure that nothing offensive is done to add to the burden; if someone violates their moral code, and adds to the whacking great sack of guilt, an immediate apology is recommended. Many of these people think so badly of themselves that if they take a wrong step, in their estimation, their immediate reflex is to destroy themselves. So they have made an apparent choice to stop destroying and start creating something they can be proud of, and don't have to feel remorseful about, and thus never try to destroy themselves and those around them again. Many of these people, so separate and alone for so long, have found some kind of higher power that looks after them, that helps them, that takes over for them and handles the business of their life with greater proficiency than they ever could in their little dream of separation. Many of these people have found great peace. Their story is a "better" one, they have meaning and purpose (generally to help others). The goal is peace of mind and happiness. The tool used for anything that seems to intrude in their life that is unpleasant is acceptance. And there is nothing wrong with all this. In fact, the stories are glorious, the energies sweet and powerful. But it's not what I'm talking about, or trying to.

They are perfect, these people, they are beautiful in their neuroses and anger and their reprehensible, selfish behaviour. Just as they are, they are already perfect, their apparent contribution in balance. Perhaps they'll realise they were perfect all along. But if not, it doesn't matter. Even the not realising is perfect.


Oscar Grillo said...

Popeye had it clear when he said: I AM WHAT I AM AND THAT'S ALL I AM.

No One In Particular said...

Ah, Popeye. The overlooked guru. With a girlfriend you could poke an eye out on, an apparently illegitimate child (whose kid was Sweetpea anyway?), a friend with a shocking eating disorder and a nemesis who was as wild about the neurotic Olive as he was. And who settled all conflicts with violence. Also one of the first nutritionists of note. A character to be emulated!