Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Who Is It That Would Be Responsible?
Guilt and responsibility fall away. Who is it that would be responsible? Responsible behaviour seems to arise, but there is no one to behave and no one to forgive. This goes for the victim and the perpetrator, which both apparently have come up in my story. There is no choice or volition. Who is it that would choose? That anxious question "am I doing the right thing?" is moot. The right thing is done. Oddly, the paradox seems to be that when there is no one, the story unfolds in an easier way. The conflicts that arise of separation - and make no mistake, duality is the source of all conflict - the fear of otherness, the terrifying prospect of the ticking clock, the need to possess things and others so that we can feel safe - all of that seems an absurd tragi-comedy. Life goes on, but without the vested interest of "me". Fears come up, grief and loss, joy and pain. There is very little for these feelings to hook onto, but without the defence of self they seem remarkably intense. Life carries on, but so much more efficiently. Yet there is nothing wrong with being separate, that too is being, aliveness, oneness, whatever we're inadequately naming it today, being twoness. There is no goal but existence. And in that existence, so many miracles are apprehended. It is all miraculous. All we truly have is this, whatever seems to arise in it. All we truly are is this.