Sunday, 13 December 2009

To My Sick Soul, As Sin's True Nature Is, Each Toy Seems Prologue To Some Great Amiss.

There is so much tugging and pulling at the heartstings of the seeker; so many admonitions, so much advice, so many entreaties, so many commands. So many edicts to "dump the spiritual bullshit" or "get off the hamster wheel" or "stop circling the mountain and look up to see the mountain". I am not a teacher; I won't be telling any apparent person what to do, where to go, or how still to be to "get" this "enlightenment" stuff. A few words of advice might slip out now and again, but as the story seems to unfold to me, there are paths that work, paths that work for some "individuals" but not others, some who conclude the only path is no path, some who resonate with "there is no one" and some who resonate with "be still and see there is no witness". The "ah ha" moment might be a startling mind-event with bells, whistles, visions and bliss, or it might be a gentle shift that leaves the former seeker in gales of subdued chuckles, or it might "happen" and only be noticed "later" with an accompanying classic comedy slap on the forehead. In an unfolding story of common sense and mental health, it's clear that we don't often know what's "good" for us, and an endless circling of the mind, although frustrating, is often the fruitless series of events that needs to happen before a cycle is broken; before the hamster wheel slips from its fastenings, spilling us out onto the wood shavings where we look around and finally notice we're in a cage.

The most uncomfortable, tragic event can unfold into wisdom. The most futile, unprofitable enterprise is a journey of revelation. Some games may be more enjoyed than others, but each game is the expression of perfection, the reflection of that which longs to see itself, which is that longing and nothing more. The frustrated longing of the seeker is the sweetest, most apropos feeling, the clearest reflection of life's yearning to be. How strange and paradoxical that we cannot see what we are, when what we are is all we are.

We are not steeped in enlightenment; there is no enlightenment; there is only this, full stop, here now. Whichever teacher you are drawn to, listen. Whatever method you apply, delight in it. Whatever it seems you are doing, you are awareness, and everything you see, think, hear, touch, smell, feel and do, is arising in what you are, no matter what that is, no matter how to the point or not. You cannot run away from what you are. And if, by some accident, the illusion of reality is seen through, all those ups and downs and tragedies and joys can be savoured without the defenses of the ego in the way; but if all you seem to be is a bundle of defenses, savour them as well, for they are no less a perfect expression of being than anything else.

41 comments:

Léon said...

If you can laugh about yourself,it's already a stepping out of the hamster wheel!Léon :-))

msayers said...

What a wonderful weekend post! And who says you're not a teacher? You've got to admit, though, that we're just as fun to watch as that little hamster in his self-created centrifuge.

Ronna said...

Bravo!!! Your words here describe exactly what I have been sensing for days. Thanks for writing.

Nicholas (Conscious Flex) said...

Still nothing happening, awesomeness! Great pointing, as always. *Hugs*

Svante Odmark said...

I love the sound produced when the hamster hits solid ground. Sounds like AUM - or, well, maybe not... Rather like BOFF. :)

And then, of course, the wheel stands on that same solid ground too - so the hamster's never really gone anywhere new. Just that BOFF kind of experience...

Gorilla Bananas said...

Freddie Starr ate my hamster...but it was only an illusion. The was no hamster, only a Marmite sandwich.

Christine said...

*sigh* Thank you. :) Reading this brings such a sense of relief. The more I read about the "only way" or the "fastest way" to enlightenment/eternal bliss/whatever I'm like Really??

I've decided to take what I like at any particular moment, smile at those who say one should do this or that, and leave the rest. It's always worked in the past, so I'm sticking to it. :)

No One In Particular said...

Hey Leon, the hamster wheel itself is oneness! So is the cage.

No One In Particular said...

Hi Mike, thanks, I say I'm not a teacher, we all have everything we need at all "times". And that hamster...I think the owner must be spraying the bearings with WD40!

No One In Particular said...

Hi Ronna, glad resonance arises.

No One In Particular said...

Hey Nicholas. Always lovely to hear from you. Pointing away as always for no reason at all.

No One In Particular said...

Hi Svante, nothing like a good boffing to keep us on our toes!

No One In Particular said...

Hey GB, I'll bet out in the jungle, hamsters are never eaten...to much work for so little meat. Or else too many crunchy bones to get between the teeth!

No One In Particular said...

Hi Christine, as they say in the 12-step rooms...take what you need and leave the rest behind. And is it eternal bliss you're after? This life, as it is, with its apparent roller coaster of emotion and sensation, seems not only enough, but just as must be...with everything available.

clueless said...

oh god....sometimes I just have to laugh at myself; stuck here with this nagging unignorable urge called seeking which right now hurts like an existential toothache ......what a fiasco this is...it's absolutely hopeless; Writing this is strangely lightening...as if I really don't care as long as this particular feeling is present......like being loved, or being love, or loving being.........
So much of what happens to me or what I do, I don't understand why....makes no sense, just happens. Like writing this and intending to post it........to who? and for what?
Any clues please Suze?
Clueless.

No One In Particular said...

Hey Clueless, just let it happen. You don't have to understand it.

clueless said...

Thanks for the reminder mam.
Appreciation,
C.

Brenda said...

I am listening, with delight. Seeing "scialog" is always delightful. I am starting to develop a fondness for your heretofore unsavory post titles. They seem to sort of serve to cleanse the palette, like a fine wine whose name has no meaning. You've touched three of my senses. Cheers!

lune said...

beautiful post and stunning artwork, really stunning.
thank you as ever.......x

No One In Particular said...

Thanks Lune. So many ways to say and show nothing.

Anonymous said...

"Hey GB, I'll bet out in the jungle, hamsters are never eaten...to much work for so little meat. Or else too many crunchy bones to get between the teeth!"

However, in the civilised realm of the microwave and chopping board....

Hitch said...

Hi Suzanne, Hahaha great fun these hamsters so human I m still laughing:) Reminds me of a new wanna have Christmas present in USA, the electric hamster was sold out…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2DMq0lHpVA&feature=player_embedded#
Yesterday I was clicking and suddenly I was on your refreshing blog site and watched some vids of you on NNH and consciousness TV. I was touched to hear your story, and “your” approach to life. It reminded me of my search and history and desire to get out of my story. The fact that the way out is the way down to bite the snake and discover a rope and not as a story but as experience lived through hell. Without the iron ego cage it was not possible and with the iron ego cage it also was not possible haha. In a certain way these imaginary iron cages were necessary as golden cages generally don’t feel any urgency or have Total desire and the required courage on the road, to embrace their snakes. At the most words are pointers to silence what I sense between your words. It is beautiful to enjoy your openness and to share your aversion of Satsangs and teachers:) nobody can teach anything about nothing. Maybe time to make a remake of that famous pop song “This Is Not A Love Song “ to “This Is Not A SatSang”:) greetz Menno

No One In Particular said...

Hey Anonymous, my son's hamster Trumpy is somehow aware of your evil intent, and is nervously chewing his see-saw. And Hitch, I'm enjoying my golden cage immensely!

Julian said...

A very helpful post, thank you.

I loved the image of the hamster wheel coming adrift. I can see the grin on the hamsters face...after she has got over the shock.It's playtime! Now she can make bigger circles(?)

It's nice to just listen without interpretation and realise that it is all relevent - all that I AM. Sometimes though,particular voices reach into the mind suggesting other universes(or worlds) beyond this one.

Your tone has changed recently -s sounds sweeter.

No One In Particular said...

Hey Julian, we're lucky that boundless imagination seems to be part of the appearance, of what arises in what we are...so other worlds are available! EVERYTHING is available.

Funny you say my tone has gotten sweeter...my character has taken a turn for the ruthless and the doesn't-suffer-fools-gladly. (Just ask my husband!) Transference is part of every relationship, in the apparently unfolding story...what you see is what you want! With that in mind...all my love to you Julian.

Julian said...

What you see is what you want. Bloody hell.That accounts for a lot.Its amazing the way things seem to fall into your lap sometimes. Lune talks a lot about intuition though and it certainly feels like that plays a part in our judgements too.How does an owl get to spot a (hamster) 150ft below buried under snow if not.

No One In Particular said...

It's all fascinating, beautiful, and utterly meaningless.

Julian said...

Meaningless reaching out.

clueless said...

My "this" seems nothing but imagination.
Clueless

Daniel said...

"If all this shit's for nothing, why do I got to think about it?"

-Tony Soprano to Jennifer Melfi, MD, Psychiatrist. The Sopranos, Season 1, Episode 3

No One In Particular said...

Hey Clueless, what's wrong with that? And Daniel, I LOVE the Sopranos! Thinking about this shit that's for nothing is what life calls "entertainment".

Ronna said...

Hi Suzanne, the next time I am in the midst of a existential storm I will 'hear' your voice saying "it's entertainment" and watch the laughter!!!

No One In Particular said...

Hey Ronna...well, it is!

Ronna said...

Yes, I agree watching the entertainment and knowing it is entertainment is great!

Julian said...

The cosmic giggle at life is sweeter than fine wine, but if you feel yourself trapped in the centre of a bad dream called me...forget it. Whether it is just a dream of reality or not, escape is the only thing that is ever wanted.

No One In Particular said...

Hey Julian...that trapped feeling, it's not only bearable, it's intensely felt life. Life isn't just wanting things to be better. There's so many stories...so many ways to live. And behind it all...nothing, nothing that wants to be something, and is, in so many ways!

No One In Particular said...

Hey Ronna...some entertainment is more obvious than others!

Julian said...

To keep saying it is like keep looking at it, even when it feels like a frozen ice field. After thousands of years our icefields are melting.

No One In Particular said...

That is the story of the ice fields melting. You are not a story.

clueless said...

.....I ain't complaing mam. Clueless

Ronna said...

Hey Julian, you might want to check out the latest podcast by James Braha on Urbangurucafe.com and also James's website if you haven't already.