Sunday, 27 December 2009

For Nothing Had Begot My Something Grief; Or Something Hath The Nothing That I Grieve.

Writing about this, whatever this is, requires using concepts to dissipate concepts. The imperative is to describe the indescribable, pure existence, the thing that is whether thoughts are interpreting it or not. It's rather like painting a picture of someone eating an orange in order to describe an orange's flavour, or looking very closely at a mountain spring, marveling at its wetness and freshness, rather than going over and scooping up a drink of it. Contradictions abound the describing of it, for language is necessarily dual, and having mutually exclusive (yet simultaneously occurring) opposites is the nature of concepts. One moment you may read that there are no paradoxes, all is one; in the next book it may say that the appearance of time and the nonexistence of it is an unresolvable paradox.

It doesn't matter what you read, it is the reading that is this. Thoughts are much maligned in the search for enlightenment. Yet thoughts are this too; they cannot take you down the wrong path; there is no wrong path. It doesn't matter at all what is happening, how it is interpreted (or not) and what feelings come up about it all. Life is here, always. It doesn't matter what form it is taking, or appears to take. Life is life. Whatever arises is the same thing, in a different guise. Whatever arises is equally valid. And the mind will have a heyday interpreting, judging, comparing, and ferreting out relative truth and worth at every apparent new happening. But that interpretation, judgment, comparison and relativity are simply what is arising. The thoughts and feelings seem to come and go. They might be anything. They are of no importance, and they can seem fun and stimulating, or miserable and destructive. Whatever they may be, they are not what you are.

Trying too hard and desperate frustration may be the best labels for some thoughts and feelings that arise. Relaxing can come up too. Realising that the thing that wants death of the ego is the ego itself, and the ego has lots of problems with this, can rise to compassion, which can seem to ease the whole process (that isn't really happening at all). There is no prize that awaits; nothing can await; everything, infinity, eternity, and boundlessness are already the case. And if boundlessness is not obvious, then exploring the microcosm of life might reveal it, at last, to be a microcosm. Perhaps when "you" are least expecting it.

36 comments:

S said...

Hurrah! That's it! Thank you for that. EXACTLY. ITS EVERYTHING, EVEN apparent confusion, etc. No 'point of view' is 'the right one'. They are ALL relative, ALL concepts, ALL mind stuff, therefore not 'what I am', or 'Source' or 'Truth' or 'Presence-Awareness' or whatever. It's ALL just 'perfect' (not in the usual sense), no matter how it seems. It can't be any other way. So all that any 'individual' can do is just watch the (sometimes freaky) show and enjoy! And maybe have a bloody good laugh. I Likes you Suzanne! x

willie said...

As always - truth so eloquently stated - you are gifted beyond the normalized quotient allowed for realized beings. There is no reason why you are - you just, simply, are. There is an old saying - it takes one to know one - but hey, that just ego speaking. Sometimes I just want to tell you that I would crawl over broken glass just so I could hear you tell me to get lost - that's how much I value your words.

Barry said...

I very much appreciate the simplicity of "thoughts . . . cannot take you down the wrong path; there is no wrong path."

For me, that's the whole story in a nutshell. Thanks, Suzanne

Randy S said...

The ego wants to live. The ego wants to die. My teacher once asked me what it is that the ego wants. I searched within and came up with "it wants to live." My teacher nodded once. Quietly. Later, after deeply searching in meditation, it was seen that the very well from which the ego springs is a basic "No." The (my) ego is composed completely of a fundamental hatred for what is. The same instance this was seen, the certain desire for annihilation appeared. My teacher commented the desire to live and the desire to die are two sides of the same coin. Hmn. I chew on that for a time. The coin must be the delusion that there actually is anything apart that lives or dies.

Genju said...

Now there you go messin' with my head! :-) I often wonder about the approach-avoidance we have with thoughts in practice. Thanks for the post. Made me think. ;-)

Genju

zafire said...

Nothing to gain...only to lose

Ronna said...

No mind, no question, no answer so no problem

No One In Particular said...

Hey S. That's how it seems "here", definitely. Vestigial Ego-That-Is-Not-Me likes you liking!

No One In Particular said...

Hey Willie, geez dude, cuts from broken glass, despite it being the same energy as anything else that is, is perhaps not the ideal thing to be arising in awareness! I'll tell you to get lost no problem, without all the hairshirt stuff on your part. Valuing the words is another, very satisfying story.

No One In Particular said...

You're welcome Barry!

No One In Particular said...

All this ego dying or living or whatever are interesting concepts, fun to play with - and that's all they are! NO great truths; no profound insight. Just stuff arising, all kindsa stuff.

No One In Particular said...

You're welcome Genju, happy to mess with your head anytime.

No One In Particular said...

Hey Zafire, true. Then nothing realizes it's everything!

No One In Particular said...

Hey Ronna, there are no questions, there are no answers...except to finesse around with in a blog entry!

Svante Odmark said...

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh... So enjoyable this conceptual dance of the dissipation of concepts. So enjoyable this bewildering dance of emptiness, known as the multitudes of lives encountered within this one, honey-drenched movement of light...

No One In Particular said...

Hey Svante, I gotta say that for a non-native English speaker (writer), your expression in this gutteral and confusing language is superb! And getting "better".

Nicholas (Conscious Flex) said...

Hope you had a very lovely Christmas. This was apparently my first Christmas without snow on the ground, seemly nice change.

Looking forward to watch your satsang on the 3rd, or not satsang thingy LOL :P Hahaha. I will not be in the area but look forward to the recording.

Oh and another wonderful pointless post about nothing. :)

No One In Particular said...

Hey Nicholas, hope your sunny Christmas was great too - just about to head off for South Bend where there is DEFINITELY snow-stuff arising in awareness.

Too bad you can't be around for the un-satsang, but we can make do with shared consciousness!

niyati said...

Hi Suzanne,
Trying too hard and desperate frustration may be the best labels for some thoughts and feelings that arise LOL!.......
lovely post, life and death are issues which run through my entire family history (for generations) as we are mostly all alcoholics, though regretfully functioning alcoholics, the worst kind!
I tried for years to escape this genetic inheritance through various means and the only thing that made a difference was love, if I am alive and functioning well(ish!) in the world(ie good job, own house, pension etc.) its only because I love my children, and nothing else. I lived for years in a spiritual community in India and didn't learn the love, forgiveness & compassion I have with acquired with them. I merely tried to therapise & meditate away my ego and of course as a result it got bigger and more entitled, (BTW best years of my life .....I am so special lol!)
So when I had my kids it was a total blessing, as there it was, I am just ordinary & even better, just the same as the rest of my genetic crew mates in this strange thing called life, except unlike my cousin Im alive & unlike 10 years ago I think, only the love I have for my kids made the difference. I bring them up myself as their father who I met in the same Indian Ashram, didn't have the same commitment to them as they were way too taxing for such a spiritual person as himself, no surprise there then.
You are a very clever lassie and I think (hope) you'll go far, & Im sure your own kids will stop you falling for your own hype.
Your Blog is so brilliant,your genetic certainly gave you a supreme gift, can communicate & write well, what a wonderful gift
many thanks & heaps of love.
Niyati XXX

No One In Particular said...

Hi Niyati, great comments. Falling for my own hype is unlikely! But it doesn't matter what story the mind strings it all along as, whether the story of a wholesome life grounded in children or a chaotic, fruitless, narrow life, mired in active addiction; it's all the same damn thing.

Those people too spiritual to be bothered, or too screwed up to be responsible, or functioning despite active alcoholism; they are you. And me.

TiDE3YE- Shek's Peer said...

to- Nobody in particular-
hey, can i meet you for a cup of tea, i live just down the road from you in Richmond.

No One In Particular said...

Hey TiDE3YE- Shek's Peer,

Contact me by email, but it's tricky. Busyness arises in awareness, lots of kids and husbands and ironing!

niyati said...

Those people too spiritual to be bothered, or too screwed up to be responsible, or functioning despite active alcoholism; they are you. And me.
Yes I do so agree - at least in principle - only my resentment (ego)says... why am I the story who is here taking care of two kids when its -7degrees outside & my gas boiler is acting up! instead of running away to get stoned on the beach in Goa, I mean which story is it you'd rather be in? I mean do we have a choice? Am I all the stories? And they are me. I bet you prefer your story with a decent bloke husband instead that the mean SOB I married...LOL! maybe its me whose fallen for my own hype. believing my own story, taking it seriously.
My own lessons in these 20 years of spiritual searching, listening to teachers & Gurus etc have been very simple, compassion, forgiveness and humour, mostly for myself. Need to use them on a daily basis....

nepal said...

Dear Suzanne,
Few days back i'm blessed watching yr interview on conscious tv.
i've nothing to say except the joyful tears in my eyes..
now here im reading yr bolg n writing this agian i cant help myself,my eyes r wet but heart is throbbing with joy.
with love n respect from the place im
i know its not,what it is but what can i do...plz accept my love
Nirdosh
im not good at english..sorry

No One In Particular said...

Hey Niyati, well, we never have any idea what "good" is. We label things "good" generally when they directly or indirectly service the continuation of the species...a species that doesn't exist...in a world not here. As far as which story, getting stoned, for my character, would be the absolute "worst" thing I could do, and with it comes untold misery...so I'd rather be looking after two kids with the boiler acting up. I apparently have been in exactly the same life circumstances utterly suicidal, and full of contentment. And my husband has been many characters in the ol' life-plot. Truth, and usefulness, are entirely arbitrary and relative. We are not our stories; we get to enjoy them, relish them, feel them. The mind gets to play with it all, make conclusions or not, have revelations or not, split it into a thousand pieces. And none of it is happening at all. However, that story of self-forgiveness is perhaps more relatively useful than most!

Hang in there.

No One In Particular said...

Hey Nepal, your English is just fine, and I don't have to accept your love...we're both already that.

SoFi said...

Hi Suzanne,
I enjoy your blog very much, since I found it after watching your interview on conscious tv. I liked as you said there, that the words tony uses fit for you. either they did for "me" and "my" expirience of wholeness/oneness/liberation....how ever we want to call that today;-)
my english writing and talking is not very good, also I understand it very well. In my story there was alcoholism, drug addiction, marriage 3 times, 4 kids(still 3 here living with me), depression, lot's and lot's of suffering...and so on.
oh...and for years and years I went to 12-step-programm meetings and worked real hard to get a"better"person, therapie and so on...to get a better dream;-))
since all disappeared in nothingness, since nobody is here anymore there is just .....hmmmm....grace? can't find the right words somehow, it's only blabla anyway;-)somehow just wanted to get in contact.so I stop the blabla... right now in the world of appearance there is a lot of laundry and ironing waiting! and a five year old that is showing her appearent existence loud and noisy;-)
Nice to meet "you" and I hope my english is ok

nepal said...

Thank youuuuu!
plz wish 4 my realization so that im able to see the way u see and able to say we all are that.

niyati said...

Hi Suzanne,
as they say, when the disciple is ready the master appears! I agree with your last post to me, My daughters and I have just been knocking the icicles off our house with a brush in the dark and its snowing again, was great fun!
One of my previous teachers said this (& I paraphrase here) 'two men live in cells, one is in a prison and is in hell, the other a monastery is in heaven, Nothing outside is different for either. Ive tried to absorb this truth for years but keep being seduced by the illusion that its my fault, obviously the ultimate egotism! Your statement 'I apparently have been in exactly the same life circumstances utterly suicidal, and full of contentment' is honestly the most amazing truths anyone has ever shared with me, normally none of us has that level of courage. I'm so glad you're not a teacher as I'd be fighting with all those adoring blokes on your blog to be your Anando! Well at least your husband wouldnt feel threatened, LOL!!!
Only joking (ish!) Im truly happy that my kids need me for another 10 years.
Love Niyati
XX

No One In Particular said...

Hey Sofi, your English is wonderful, very blabla expressive. Now get back to that ironing!

No One In Particular said...

I Nirdosh, sorry I didn't catch your signature on the first post. We are all that whether "you" "see" it or not. So don't sweat it!

No One In Particular said...

Hey Niyati, love your profile picture. Those daughters look a bit impish! Now I'm off to look up "Anando".

Courage, along with everything else, is always available.

Brenda (betaphi) said...

Gee, superstar, adoration is arising around you. But I'm not here to adore. I'm here to tell you that it finally dawned on me what you're doing with those wretched titles. For reasons known to none you're using the same basic ten-syllable blank verse lines used by the first poets of the land. I am Bic pen ta me ter! Confess. You're an English major, aren't you!?

No One In Particular said...

These adoring people need 5 minutes on the phone with my husband.

All the titles are quotes from the Bard. Apparently, I was a comparative literature major...not quite sure what that means. We read a lot of the religious tomes (Torah, Koran, Bible, Bhagavad Gita) and sat around a table, talking a lot of very, very interesting crap!

nepal said...

its truth from yr space but from same sentence wont be true from my place,even though its a true.
looking at u i feel more thirsty for that space.is this thirst itself a problem?what do u say?

Let me wish u happy new year 2010.

No One In Particular said...

Hey Nirdosh,

Feeling thirsty IS it.