There is no one who has ever controlled their life. No matter what analysis is applied to the story of life, from personal motivations to do with a lack of childhood nurture of more general observations about the human need to "feel better", there is no one who has ever acted from personal will. Such will is a dream, and it is a hard dream to let go of. In fact, no one can choose anything, including to let go: what needs to be let go of is what lets go; and there is no one who can choose to do this. There are individuals suffering in that inability to see oneness. There is a great deal of desperation and despair around the huge desire and longing to come home. This message, from nothing, from no one, to nothing and no one, is a message of hopelessness for the dreamer: there is nothing you can do save what you do, whatever the apparent motivation. The only hopeful part of the message is: the dream can shatter at any "time". Whether engaged in a practice that whittles away the much-maligned ego, or simply going about one's business on the usual roller coaster of triumph, disappointment, sorrow, joy and ambivalence, it can be seen that what is sought, no matter what it is labeled, is what is all around, always. This, whatever seems to be happening, is a symphony of love, in every imaginable and unimaginable manifestation. Life, whatever guise it takes, is enough. What is sought is this, and is timelessly this, infinitely this, eternally this, no matter what conclusions the mind may make; and those conclusions are life, simply in its skeptical guise. There arises great hope in the midst of hopelessness.
Friday, 22 May 2009
Oft Expectation Fails And Most Oft There Where Most It Promises, And Oft It Hits Where Hope Is Coldest.
There is no one who has ever controlled their life. No matter what analysis is applied to the story of life, from personal motivations to do with a lack of childhood nurture of more general observations about the human need to "feel better", there is no one who has ever acted from personal will. Such will is a dream, and it is a hard dream to let go of. In fact, no one can choose anything, including to let go: what needs to be let go of is what lets go; and there is no one who can choose to do this. There are individuals suffering in that inability to see oneness. There is a great deal of desperation and despair around the huge desire and longing to come home. This message, from nothing, from no one, to nothing and no one, is a message of hopelessness for the dreamer: there is nothing you can do save what you do, whatever the apparent motivation. The only hopeful part of the message is: the dream can shatter at any "time". Whether engaged in a practice that whittles away the much-maligned ego, or simply going about one's business on the usual roller coaster of triumph, disappointment, sorrow, joy and ambivalence, it can be seen that what is sought, no matter what it is labeled, is what is all around, always. This, whatever seems to be happening, is a symphony of love, in every imaginable and unimaginable manifestation. Life, whatever guise it takes, is enough. What is sought is this, and is timelessly this, infinitely this, eternally this, no matter what conclusions the mind may make; and those conclusions are life, simply in its skeptical guise. There arises great hope in the midst of hopelessness.
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6 comments:
don't you hate using words cause they never accurately reflect what it is you want to convey or feel because they are so limiting?
why do so many people in this illusion have a problem with there being "nothing" (or whatever you want to call it)
once you have experienced the death of the ego (yes there are always little remnants left) everything around you becomes of no interest to you and all you are left with are some sensory pleasures which no longer are the way it used to be. f.e. i used to drink but now get deathly ill from it. i used to eat certain foods but now my body rejects those foods. i don't know whatever it is i'm going through in this storyline
with my character in its role but it feel's like that at some point the illusion will disappear and then nothing will appear. but then again what do i know? all is eternal illusion because without it there is nothing. and nothing is nothing. but with the collective mental illness i can sense, feel and observe in everyone around me it ain't a funny experience including losing everything to know and experience the nothingness and to return to the nothingness hopefully or not.
sometimes it would be nice to be able to say "computer, game over" and then the illusion would disappear.
Yes, words are useless, as useless as everything else, but magical all the same. Sometimes, when this is seen, there is a feeling of falling in love with the appearance that arises. The illusion can easily be seen through, but it can also be beautiful, in all its many, many guises, including things usually judged "bad" like mental illness. The illusion is here and not here. There is no end, or beginning to it. This is nothingness, something-ing; and the something can seem bad or good, but the this is beyond bad or good. Whatever seems to be arising, no matter how despairing or uncomfortable, is perfect.
Beautifully expressed!
Over here, it seems the illusion was difficult to go of because there is no understanding how nobody is there, but letting go happens. "How can letting go happen without me?" *laughs* Seems silly when that is heard, but it is understandably innocently very real to seekers (as 'you' know).
Yet at the same time, it's easy to let go (not like anybody can do that). It takes a lot of work and energy to keep the illusion alive (not like anybody is doing that).
It's only the illusion that wants to get rid of the illusion and in that way the illusion stays alive. This is perfectly this too.
Nothing wrong or right with any of it, because this is all of it.
In this seeking and awakening thing, there are as many questions as there are seekers, and similarly as many ideas of what liberation is like, but just the one obvious answer. Fascinating, to quote Spock.
Oh how depressing it is to read your blog sometimes. I know there's nothing I can do, and that there's nobody here to do it anyway. Yet "I" haven't truly realized this. I should give up like someone recently suggested I do, but I'm not allowed.
I look forward to reading you every day. Thank you for this refreshing blog!
Msayers, you are most welcome, and sorry if it's depressing. In the "meantime," there is much to be enjoyed in the appearance. Anyway, there is no one who needs to awaken; in fact, no one can.
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