Sunday, 28 December 2008
Who Is It That Can Teach Me To Be?
When this shift in "my" perception apparently happened, it seemed that there were a lot of spiritual teachers out there who were teaching away that there was a way to get to this, that with the right amount of meditation or forgiveness or being present in the moment or whatever that "someone" could see that there was no one. There is no practice that can bring it about. Any practice reinforces the idea that there is a separate person who can do something to become One with the Oneness or whatever inadequate thing we're calling it today. But there is no one that can teach someone who dreams they are separate; there is only this, and this is all there is, and it is available always, as it is all there is. Seeking reinforces the idea there is something to seek, that there is someone who can seek it. It already is what I am, exactly as I am, no matter what that might seem to be. No one can teach me how to be, or teach my heart to beat, or my lungs to breathe. No one can unlock what already is immaculate wholeness. It just goes, this idea that I am separate. The illusion of being a separate individual with choices and practices and a life that needs to be made useful and fulfilling just dies. The freedom from the tyranny of self is boundless; in losing everything I thought my life was, life is seen to be the wonder it is, just as it is. And nothing has changed, except how it is seen. Change seems to happen, but in every small happening or feeling or thought that arises in this appearance, there is everything, all, totality, completeness. What seems to be missing is the sense that something is missing. That doesn't mean that "I" feel bliss and peace and utter compassion for the whole of existence. Sometimes, that seems to be what is arising. Sometimes it is being fed up, or feeling frustrated, or deep grief and mourning, and each feeling is unfiltred and intense. In wholeness, everything is available. It was ever thus. All these teachers of non-duality still seem to whisper that there is someone who can be taught, and only by them, for they have the "right method." There is no teacher, there is no student. There is only immaculate being. Wholeness in every apparent breath, in each footfall, in watching TV. This is wholeness. This is it.