Saturday, 9 January 2010

Not Knowing How To Find The Open Air, But Toiling Desperately To Find It Out.

Seekers of something other than what is are convinced there must be some extraordinary difference in the quality of experience other than that which is already known; the flavour of reality must change, and subsequently, the motives for all apparent actions. The very timbre of what is heard must be sweeter; what is felt must feel more whole; what is seen must seem to be more crystalline and defined, the very essence of reality contained in each apprehended atom of the appearance that shows up for us. Whatever is known now is disregarded as incomplete, is perceived as lacking in some way. All of us seek to imbue some greater consequence to experience than what is already experienced. Imagination intervenes to provide an expectation of a world imbued with more: more meaning, more light, more love, more sensation, more appreciation. Whatever simply is, is not enough. Whatever simply is, is judged to be lacking. Whatever the sights, sounds, feelings, sensations of the world that appears to show up for us is not enough; there must be more.

These expectations are what keeps the apprehended world from being, to our perception, something other than the miraculous whole it is. And yet, the expectations and judgements themselves are part of the tapestry of wholeness, sensible and appropriate, and are merely humanity's facility for exploration and self-consciousness at play. There is no better way, in the story of seeking meaning, to find meaning other than by feeling that everything is meaningless; there is no better way to find wholeness than to feel that life is incomplete. We are constructed flawlessly for the purpose of exploration and being, looking at itself. Far from being dismissed out of hand, the appearance of the world and our seeming interaction with it is the point. It doesn't matter what that interaction is. There is no perfect blueprint for being other than what is apparently presented. The questioning, the anger, the resistance are fitting and could not be any other than what they are.

Yet it can be seen that the most mundane actions, judged to be dreary and ineffectual, are in fact simply the miracle of consciousness in whatever guise seems to be presented. This, this life, showing up just as it does, is perfect, complete and whole just as it is. It is so ironic that we agonise and question and seek and judge lacking and struggle, hoping to find what is exactly what is. Even when this is accepted, there seems to be the need for some act of will or intervention from beyond to make whatever is more than it is. Awakening, enlightenment, or whatever we're calling it today, is simply seeing that what is, is what is sought. What was sought was the very seeking. What was lacking was appreciation of lack. There is nothing different, in some nonexistent future, that will bring you to what you already are. You are life; and there is no time beyond this now, this moment, this seamless reality that is always here, and never to be more than it already is. So read with interest about the ego, and its false assumptions, and its taking on of a role bigger than it is, and its case of cosmic mistaken identity. It is the reading that is the point, not the content. It is life, this very moment, that is the answer. And if it seems to help to conceptualise that you are awareness, and everything arises in this awareness, including the ego-construct, that's fine too. It is the thinking of these things that is life, not the conclusions. Here is everything. There is nowhere, no when, and no one but here and now and this.

42 comments:

Christine said...

I love your posts. Life always manages to challenge my assumption. It's a good thing. Also, I LOVE the idea of appreciating lack. :)

Julian said...

One snowman says to the other, "can you smell carrot?".

There's a fullness here, that can empty out and then fill again, like a lung or a heart beating. Part of the dance of life, like day and night. Must be Ok I think.

Thanks Suzanne. Words fresh like snow.x

No One In Particular said...

Hi Christine, yet another idea to love!

No One In Particular said...

Hi Julian - LOVE the snowman joke! Even the background implication of the consciousness of snowmen (and presumably -women) is amusing.

Doug McMillan said...

You nailed it Suzanne . . only problem is, I don't know that there is an 'it' to nail! Although I'm sure there is a nail to hammer . . .

It seems the seeker has to seek before s/he discovers that they are seeking what they already 'be'!

I love the snowman joke as well, nice one Julian :)

No One In Particular said...

Thanks Doug. I just love it when nailing it arises in awareness.

No Plane Zen said...

Maybe an aspect of the searching, disatisfaction and inability to accept 'what is' and stop there, stems from a deep knowing that what is also is 'what is not'.

Jason said...

"It is the reading that is the point, not the content."

This statement seems to encapsulate almost everything I've ever read on the subject of Non-Duality, Advaita, Reality or whatever this is called.

Thanks Suzanne.

So the Zen master goes up to the hot-dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything"

Wellness Education Institute said...

Be. Here, Now.

we cannot not, even as we lament yesterday's (and tomorrow's) do-be-do dance.
:)
dancin,
-len

No One In Particular said...

Hey No Plane, sure, why not?

No One In Particular said...

Hey Len, thanks for stopping by.

The lamenting etc. is always happening now, about things remembered now.

No One In Particular said...

Hey Jason, thanks for the kudos, and GREAT joke!

Nicholas (Conscious Flex) said...

Beautiful. Flowing like poetry. I burn forever in love.

christl said...

i love sf and jc.
it´s the reading that´s the point, not the content, reminded me of:
ich bin der weg, die wahrheit und das leben,and i looked up john 14.it goes on: nobody gets to the father but by me. I,MINE,ME.
my,my,my,i like it physical.

No One In Particular said...

Hi Nicholas...burning like love...or maybe love burns.

You're going the way of calling oneness love eh? Watch out - a lot of writers/teachers don't like that one! As if the label mattered.

No One In Particular said...

Hi Christl, I like "I am the way, the truth and the life"...in other words, everything.

Julian said...

No seperation or difference here. The way of Christ was the way of all - open hands, open heart, open to life death, stories, fullness, emptiness, fasting, feasting etc

No One In Particular said...

Hi Julian, we are all everything...even if we think we're not.

Julian said...

The same hey Suzanne.x

Christine said...

So maybe we could take appreciating lack a step further and appreciate everything in life. The "good" and the "bad" and everything in between. It would be interesting to see what kind of perspective would would evolve from that after enough practice. See, you make me think. :)

Fernando Rozas said...

«Awakening, enlightenment, or whatever we're calling it today, is simply seeing that what is, is what is sought. What was sought was the very seeking. What was lacking was appreciation of lack. There is nothing different, in some nonexistent future, that will bring you to what you already are.»
Great post, Suzanne.
(Tengo la impresión de que te dirigieras a 'mí', que golpearas exactamente donde lo necesito.)
Un millón de gracias
love
fernando

No One In Particular said...

Sounds like a plan. In time. But so what?

No One In Particular said...

Gracias Fernando! There's no shame in using "me" and any other concepts that come up, when conceptualising is what is happening.

108zenbooks said...

what if the what is is the seeking?

ya gotta loves words, eh?

:)

Love,
Genju

Nicholas (Conscious Flex) said...

Hahaha. I noticed that some pointers don't like when others (as if there is such a thing) point to oneness by using the word love instead. Quite silly really, nonduality pointers pointing out the duality that appears to "them". Hahaha. Doesn't matter though because nondaulity, love, oneness or whatever label; is still this one inseparable space and there is no way to talk or point out of it by using some "wrong words". Hahaha. Great fun.

Plus there is no goal because oneness can't evolve into something else other than what it already is. It can only appear to evolve but it never changes, even the appearances are it.

No One In Particular said...

Hey Genju, the "what is" is definitely the seeking!

No One In Particular said...

Hi Nicholas, all you need is love, love; love is all you need. Love is the question, and the answer: it's all about love. Oneness is love loving love.

I could go on. Lovingly.

judeann said...

Hi Suzanne, This is my first post even though I've been reading your blog,watched you on Conscious tv and at Richard's house.Thank you for sharing the simplicity of just "this." Last month my dearest, sweet 12 year old dog died. Her death penetrated my heart with such a grief.At such times the intensity of feelings is just so deep.At such times, all of this spiritual path stuff seems ridiculous. In this post you refer to the wholeness of things and I just wonder how you see or feel grief in the wholeness? I get so put off by all of the advaita crap that nothing matters, there is no one, etc. etc. I seem to feel a lot and feel deeply-and usually beat myself up to no end for it all. Anyway, I shall ramble no more. Thank you for sharing!

Barry said...

Thank you for this wonderful post, Suzanne! I especially responded to this line:

"There is no better way, in the story of seeking meaning, to find meaning other than by feeling that everything is meaningless; there is no better way to find wholeness than to feel that life is incomplete."

In the Zen tradition, we refer to this kind of "seeking" and "finding" as "don't know" mind. It's the mind of profound curiosity about how things actually are in *this* moment.

Wellness Education Institute said...

Love, baby! Yeah!
-austin powers (or was that mini-me?)

of Course, in "the spy who shagged me," mike meyers Plays several simultaneous roles:

* good/evil (austin)
* evil/good (dr. evil)
* evil/good/confused (fat bastard)
* future (austin, 10-minutes from now)
* past (austin, 10-minutes ago)

in the end, it's oppositical Sameness, laughing all the way Home (to the No-place that it never left).
:)

huh?

Anonymous said...

Looking at Haiti- looks more like S & M than love.

No One In Particular said...

Hi Judeann, well, whatever is happening is wholeness...even feelings of emptiness...or loss. Pain is just another guise of oneness, if you want to put it that way. Pain is bearable, and even common sense says that pain is a part of life. If there is no one to bear it - no ego, at least not one that takes on the burden of everything - then there is just pain. Pain becomes unbearable (by the ego) when resisted. Life seems hard, no question. But maybe it's supposed to be, from "time" to "time".

No One In Particular said...

Hi Barry, thanks for commenting. Unknowing is cool...and easy!

No One In Particular said...

Hi Lenny...all of life in Austin Powers. Big Mike Myers fan, so it makes sense to me!

No One In Particular said...

Hey Anonymous...it sure does. Don't forget Zimbabwe, Afghanistan, the Basque country, the Gaza strip...etc, etc, etc...

Not to mention the corresponding areas of trouble in each microcosm of a family, or a person.

It's difficult, and uncomfortable.

Julian said...

Some really wise words here about relationship to pain. Thankyou Suzannex

No One In Particular said...

I want a picture of you in them Lune.

No One In Particular said...

Hi Julian, maybe when there's a relationship to pain, and not just pain, is where the difficulty lies.

However, there's nothing wrong with a little difficulty!

Nirdosh said...

:))))))))))

DJH said...

"There is no better way, in the story of seeking meaning, to find meaning other than by feeling that everything is meaningless; there is no better way to find wholeness than to feel that life is incomplete."

Bravo! Encore!

No One In Particular said...

Hey DJH, encore coming soon (fresh blog post, been busy). The "simultaneous" co-existence of mutually exclusive concepts gets the ol' mind in a tizzy every "time"!

albert said...

Hi Suzanne,
I'm glad you find yourself expressing all this in such a clear manner. And I'm glad I find myself finding you and your blog. :-)